BLoSC Fairy Tale Theater
by blueglows
Summary: Once upon a time, the characters of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command were thrown into Fairy Tale parodies against their will. This is the compilation of those parodies. Hold on to your jet packs. This is sure to get silly very quickly.


BLoSC Parodies

Little Red Riding Hood

XR as Little Red Riding Hood  
Mira as Little Red's Mother  
Ty as the Wolf  
Commander Nebula as Red's Grandmother- I mean, Grandfather  
A surprise guest as the Huntsman  
Featuring XL as a Rabbit

Once upon a time, there was a little robot who enjoyed wearing a red riding hood, given to him by his dear Tangean adoptive mother, Mira. This robot wore his hood so often that he soon became known as Little Red Riding Hood, or Little Red for short.

"Little Red," called Mira, "Please come here.

"How many times to I have to say this. My name is XR!"

Of course, the robot insisted on being call his actual name, but that's beside the point. XR rolled up to his mother, crossing his arms and pouting.

"What do you want? I already told you, I'm not the one to hide poker chips in the microwave, Mira!"

Mira rolled her eyes. "Mother."

"What?"

"I'm your mother."

"What? You're not my mom!"

"We're doing a story, remember?"

"...Oh, is that why I have to wear this stupid hood? Whose bright idea was this?"

"...Just take this basket of food and bring it to your Grandfather on the other side of the woods. But make sure you stay on the path where it's safe."

XR took the basket and started rifling through it. "Let's see... Ranger scout cookies, juice... What is this? Some kind of fruit?" He threw it over his shoulder.

Mira covered the basket with a towel. "Stop that! This is for your sick Grandfather, so stop going through it."

"Grandfather, huh? We couldn't find some sweet old lady to play the Grandmother so we had to a guy?"

"...It's Commander Nebula."

"DAD?"

"NO! XR, I mean- Little Red, just get going!"

"Sheesh! Fine! Miss Bossy Pants." XR traveled down the path through the woods, grumbling to himself. "Stay on the path where it's safe. Hmph. How dangerous could it be? I swear, if I find out who's behind this story-. OOF!"

XR ran right into someone, nearly dropping his basket of goodies in the process. He managed to salvage the basket and saw that the person he ran into was none other than...

"XL? What are you doing here?"

The other robot shrugged. "I think I'm supposed to be a bunny. See? Ears?"

XR eyed the cutesy-wootsy rabbit ears and sighed. "Yeah, I see 'em. Look, XL, I think you're supposed to be a cameo in this story, so you're not really supposed to talk or let me run into you."

"I'm not? But I was promised a big part!

"Yeah, but this story didn't even have a rabbit in it."

"...Oh. Well then... See ya around, little brother." The rabbit-robot-fax machine waved and rolled away.

XR rolled his eyes and continued on. After some time of this, he realized something was missing. "...Oh, I hope no wicked animal comes to send me off the path with hopes to eat my grandmother- I mean grandfather- and, somehow, myself."

"Oh, yeah, way to spoil the ending," growled out none other than the wicked wolf that would come to send Little Red off the path- Oh, wait, sorry.

XR stared at the wolf and then started laughing. "Ty? What are you wearing?"

Ty face-palmed and groaned. "No shirt. Furry pants. Wolf ears. Whose bright idea was it to cast ME as the wolf?"

"Well, it IS type-casting."

"Oh, don't bring THAT up again. Look, I'm supposed to convince you to go through the woods and then beat you to your granny's house or whatever, so, what will it take to get you to do that?"

"No need! I'm a rebel! I'm going to go off the path and prove I can make it out alive!"

"Just don't get blown up on the way. We need you later in the story."

"Hey, that was uncalled for."

"So was the type-casting comment, now get going."

XR stuck out his tongue and then hurried off the path. Ty hurried down the path to the little cottage on the other side of the forest. He knocked on the door and said:

"...Shoot, what's my line? Uh... Let me in, or I'll huff and puff, or whatever?"

"Wrong story, Parsec!" came the gruff voice of Grandfather Nebula. "Just hurry up. They have me in a night gown and I want out of this story as soon as possible.

Ty scrunched up his face but let himself into the one room cottage, clearing his throat and averting his eyes at the sight of Nebula in a night gown. "Well... Uh... Story wise I'm supposed to eat you, but..."

"Forget that, Ranger." Nebula got out of bed, going over to the wardrobe and pulling out his ranger suit. "There's another night gown in there. I'm out of here."

Ty stepped out of the way as Nebula left the cottage. He then resigned to his fate and put on the left-over night gown, then crawling under the covers.

Meanwhile, XR was taking his dear sweet time getting to the cottage. "Oh, look at me. I'm frolicking through the forest and I haven't been hurt by a thing! Oh, what a big scary rock. Look at that terrifying flower. Take THAT Mira!"

After a good half-hour of wasting time, XR finally got to his Grandfather's cottage, knocking on the door and waking up the current inhabitant. "Pop! It's me! XR!"

"...Great. Come in."

"Right-o, Pop!" XR let himself in and snickered. "Oh, I always wanted to say this... Gee, 'Grandfather'. What large eyes you have!"

"All the better to see what a hunk of junk you are," Ty growled in response.

"Ooh, harsh." XR crossed his arms. "Because of that, I don't feel like sharing this basket of food with you."

"Hey, you talked about my eyes. I call it fair retribution."

"Well, I call it being too sensitive." XR continued to look away indignantly but then turned to look at Ty again. "...Say, if you're the wolf, then what did you do to Dad?"

"The Commander? Nothing, he just decided to walk out."

"What? We can do that?"

"Well, no... He can, but only because he won't be needed again for the story."

"But, I thought you were supposed to eat him, then me, and then your stomach would be cut open by a huntsman who would free me and Dad."

"...And HOW exactly do you think we'd do THAT?"

"...Oh, right." XR grinned sheepishly. "Well, then, how ARE we going to end this story?"

At that moment, XL the rabbit zoomed into the room, grabbing XR and pulling him into bed, covering himself XR and Ty with the blankets.

"Hey! XL! What are you doing?"

"XL, I thought I said you were just a cameo!"

"Shhhh!" XL hushed. "You won't BELIEVE who the huntsman is for this story!"

"What?" XR asked.

"Who?" Ty questioned.

"Oh, well that's not a very good hiding place, now is it...?" came a voice that chilled each of the three to the literal and metaphorical bone.

The three peeked out from under the blanket and saw none other than NOS-4-A2, grinning wickedly and menacingly glancing between them and an ax he held in his hands.

"Now, Ranger Parsec, I was told I'd get to cut you open...? Of course, I decided to change the story a bit and cut all THREE of you open..."

That resulted in NOS-4-A2 chasing the three around the room. Everything was knocked around or broken during the chase, which only ended when NOS-4-A2 cornered the three, stalking up to them slowly.

"Now, now, which one of you to cut open first...?" NOS-4-A2 grinned and laughed.

At that moment, XL turned and faced him, then producing a gun which fired out a disc. The disc landed on NOS-4-A2, which then proceeded to drain him of energy. NOS-4-A2 shut down and landed on the floor and Ty and XR stared at XL.

XL gave them both a confused look. "What? I have to defend myself somehow during the office Holiday parties."

And so, the bunny defeated the evil huntsman and saved the wolf and Little Red.

The end!


End file.
